Fresh when it gets here from
Julie Barrett
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
You keep sending 'em, I keep mocking 'em.
Patchs? I don't need to steenking Patchs. Oh, you mean "matches." Another damn dating site.
Testosterone? No thank you.
And not Viagra, either.
Look! There's a sale on knees!
Don't think I need to visit Europe just to get my tires or oil changed. But for a vacation...ah, Costa Rica. On a private charter jet or yacht.
Why do I need to hookup with rude people when I have the comment section of my local newspaper site?
I know it's a product seen on TV, but why would I buy from your incomprehensible URL when I can go down the street to the drug store?
Not ready to enroll in Medicare by a long shot, thank you.
Now cat food coupons are something I can use. But not from Europe.
Did I dream of being a teacher? More like had nightmares. And if I want to be a teacher, I won't get an online degree, thank you.
Forget Costa Rica. I can cruise to Alaska. From Europe, apparently. Are we seeing a pattern here?
Ah, here's a deal from the US. I can rent a private island. In Europe, no doubt.
Deer Antler Spray, meet Herpes Symptoms. I hope you hit it off.
Coke or Pepsi? Dr Pepper, thanks for asking.
Nigel Loan-Officer, are you any relation to Raymond Luxury-Yacht?