Tonight on the shopping cable channel:

These bits of citrine were carefully and ethically harvested from the cocktail rings exhausted dinner party hosteses. They were then gently mounded in small green boats which were then mounted on a bed of diamonds. They will go up for sale after the has-been celebrity has waxed on about its virtues for an hour with the chipper host. By then you'll be asleep and will have missed out on the sale.