Fresh when it gets here from
Julie Barrett
Wednesday, April 2, 2025
Well, here I am, easing into semi-retirement. The good news is that my creative brain is starting to work again. I spent a chunk of yesterday working on some research for a novel. So when do I start writing? I think I'm getting close. There are still a few things I need to sort out.
My biggest issue was that I didn't like my main character a lot. It's okay to have an unlikeable main character, but she wasn't even unlikeable. She was just "meh." I need to flesh her backstory out a lot more. I also realized she was too young. Adding five years to her age gave me room to expand her backstory and work up some past experiences that helped shape her character.
Second, I still have a bit of "kitchen sink" syndrome going on. What elements in my outline are important to the story? Which ones detract? I need that focus.
I just don't have the brain muscles to write long pieces of fiction. I need to change that. But like physical exercise, I can't start in running a marathon if I've never run one before. Also, I'm still recovering from burnout and I don't want to push it.
It's hard. There are still days where I just stare into space (it only looks like I'm watching YouTube videos) and wonder where the frak it all went wrong and whether it's even worth the effort to make it right again. It's worth it, but I'm still at the stage where I have to be careful how hard and how far I push.
Backing up for a moment. I hit a brick wall in October. I likened it to spinning too many plates, then adding egg juggling to the act. The problem with that is not if - but when - it all comes crashing down, and now hard. It was hard. Adding to the stress was that I had several commitments I couldn't break. Things just got worse for me. I am doing better, thank you. But just as this was years in the making, I'm not going to snap out of it overnight. I look at the small markers of progress and count those in my favor. And opening my research file and making some decisions definitely counts!
My biggest fear right now is that I'm being forgotten. The Internet is all about now. What have you done recently? Well, on the surface it doesn't look like a hell of a lot because a lot of what I've been doing is (mostly) thankless behind the scenes work. In other words, it doesn't look like I've done anything substantial, but believe me, I've been working my tail off. I need to learn to toot my own horn more often. I grew up being told that was vulgar, but these days it's expected.
Enough grousing. We're still working on Plans. One for the near future is about as firm as it can be, weather permitting. Why yes, North Texas in the Spring is the very non-political definition of uncertainty. We have built a bit of flexibility into said Plan. Right now it's looking iffy. Tomorrow? Friday? Who knows? We shall see. And perhaps research some last-minute alternatives.
Speaking of research, I have another post I want to make, and it will probably show up tomorrow. But first, piles of laundry are calling my name. Semi-retirement doesn't stop the laundry.
(Reminder: Comments are broken. It's a technical issue and I'm working on it.)