Barrett Manor

Julie Barrett is a freelance writer and photographer based in Plano, TX.

Retched Recipes: Alternative Facts Fudge

Fresh (almost) daily from Julie Barrett

3 cups of the best chocolate money can buy
1 can of condensed milk
1/4 cup butter

Combine ingredients in saucepan and heat until chocolate is melted. Spread in well-greased pan. Top generously with organic walnuts. Cool and serve. Yum!

That's what they swear they told you. Here's what they did:

Start with cheap chocolate dressed up as the good stuff.
Add 2% milk and sweeten with aspartame.
Prop it up with a little lard.
Heat it up, and point to the dog to deflect from the smell.
Spread in a pan generously greased with more lard.
Top with nuts. Washington won't miss a few.
Pour it in a pan and place outdoors on a hot sunny day. Call it winter, and the stuff will cool. Eventually. If the birds don't crap on it first.

Delicious! Honest! The mainstream recipe books lied to you.

Filed under: Retched Recipes            
2/18/2017 11:52:03 AM
C'mon, leave a comment. Make with the clicking, already!
Comments so far: 0 | Permalink

Search the Journal:


Search Tags:

Events and Appearances: All